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FOR
THOSE WHO HAVE SENT E-MAIL DECEMBER 30, 2003
According to brothel owner Dennis Hof in a post on nvbrothels.com, "...today our site had 24,084,780 accesses. Big numbers. Our web hosting people said they have never seen anything like this. We now have people working 24 hours a day, three shifts to respond to the contacts." In case you thought you were reading those numbers incorrectly, that's 24 MILLION...plus. Big numbers, indeed. Congratulations to all the hard-working folks at the MoonliteBunny Ranch. And don't forget to check it out yourself at bunnyranch.com.
In his post, Hof tells of attending a New York City comedy club with his usual string of hot Bunny Ranch girls...and with Tera Patrick. Hof ended his post with the mysterious, "Why would Tera Patrick be with me and the girls?" Speculation is ranging from possible business deals with Patrick to a booking at the Bunny Ranch. However, this is all speculation on the part of contributors to the daily porn news sites. Will Tera debut as a featured attraction at the Bunny Ranch? Wouldn't a lot of you like to know?
Look for Sineplex Entertainment at booth number 3047. On hand will be Brittney Skye, Sophia, Dominica Leoni, Friday and transsexual performers Vanity and Carmen Cruz. In addition to the hosting the booth, Sineplex will be throwing a party at Risque in the Paris Hotel on January 8. For more information, contact Travis Nestor at travis@sineplex.com.
During the interview, Jackson claimed he was "manhandled very roughly" while in police custody. Despite the fact that he was raising his arms over his head when he emerged from the Santa Barbara station after being fingerprinted, Jackson now says his shoulder was dislocated and that now he "can't move." Jackson also alleges that, while in custody, he asked to use the restroom and was locked for 45 minutes in a feces-smeared toilet while police taunted him through the door. So, after going through all that, would Jacko still sleep in the same bed with underage boys? "Of course. Why not?" Okay. Michael Louis
Albo --------------------------------- DECEMBER 29, 2003
Bigger, better, harder and faster than the first time around, Cathouse 2 met all expectations and then some. If you missed it, be sure to check out HBO.com and check for rebroadcast times. You don't want to be only the kids on the block to have missed it, do you?
I received the following e-mail from our pal, Steve Seidman, in reference to an earlier post. Here it is, unedited: "Mike, the last thing I need to do is get on your good side. Basically, you have no sides all it is, is around. You've taken a site that was doing fairly well by all ratings and dragged it to the ground. Remember, get all your quotes right for Daddy D as he might get mad at you, LOL.Good luck in Bunny Tails." Well, thank you, Steve. I'm glad to see that recent events have not made you bitter or angry.
Last week, he spoke to adultFYI.com about a recent post, and cried foul. "Albo slandered the hell out of me," he said to Gene Ross. To refresh you, here's the post which had Steve moanin' the blues: As we reported, S&S Pro Talent is no more. Finished. Done. Over. The reason given was that of a difference of "ideas," but in light of last week's imbroglio involving Steve Seidman, one half of the S&S Pro Talent Team and Moonlite Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, we suspect there might be more to it than mere creative differences. The timing's just so, well, suspect. As was brought out last Thursday night during their KSEX radio confrontation, Steve Seidman has an arrest record for both drug and sex violations. Commenting on the situation, Hof said of Steve Banan, the other half of S&S Pro Talent, and the one who apparently ended the partnership, "Banan is smart guy! Would you want to be in the porn talent business with Steve Seidman knowing about his admitted arrests and prison record?" In a statement made on last Thursday's KSEX show, Hof said that in his business, anyone with a record like Seidman's was a liability. In a more specific warning, Hof says, "Sunset Thomas and the Kit Kat Ranch either don't know about Steve's record or they are real stupid." Noting that the sex business in general has been sprucing up its image over recent years, Hof commented further on the Seidman situation, "In an industry that is doing a great job to sanitize itself, why would anybody want to associate with a felon like Seidman?" Uh, a few things, Stevie. First, if you've been wronged via the written word, it's libel, not slander. Second, for something to be libelous, it has to be untrue. You admitted your arrest record on your now-infamous KSEX radio appearance with Dennis Hof. No libel there. You also parted ways with S&S Pro Talent. No libel there, either. Maybe you're complaining about the comments made by Dennis Hof about you. Those also appeared on adultFYI.com in a post made by Mr. Hof. I merely reported them. No libel there. Perhaps you should take a lesson from previous experience and realize that every time you go off half-cocked, things seem to backfire on you. However, we find your ranting to be extremely entertaining, so you'll always have a place here. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 24, 2003
In television, if you've got a hit, the only thing to do is shoot a sequel. On Saturday, December 27, HBO will premiere Cathouse 2: Back In The Saddle, an all-new "America Undercover" episode shot entirely at the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch. As in the first special, Cathouse 2 turns the cameras on all the outrageous action at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. This time out, the sex is more explicit as the cameras go into the "party rooms" and shows just what goes on behind closed doors. Viewers will see, through hidden cameras, the negotiations and revealing conversations that take place between the "working girls" and their clients before getting down to business. Featuring some of the faces from the previous special and some inviting new ones like Isabella Soprano, the audience will go behind the scenes and see everything the Moonlite Bunny Ranch has to offer. Viewers will meet Madam Suzette who keeps the Ranch running smoothly and her charges, and the gorgeous, for-hire girls who have made the Moonlite Bunny Ranch one of the premiere legal brothels in the state of Nevada. Also spotlighted in Cathouse 2 is, of course, Dennis Hof, who, since 1992 has pioneered the concept of the "upscale brothel." As Hof says of his enterprise, "...We do everything right." Shot as the Moonlite Bunny Ranch celebrated its most profitable March in its history, the audience will see some of the perks enjoyed by the top-earning girls: VCR and DVD giveaways, cash prizes and a bonus of $10,000 for Air Force Amy, billed as the "hardest working hooker in the Free Word," for being the best money-maker for the month. If that weren't enough, viewers will be treated to what's being called a "fucker-ware" party, which is sort of like a Tupperware party...only better. This is one "America Undercover" special you won't to miss. Be sure to check it out on Saturday, December 27, at 10:30 p.m. Go to HBO.com to check other broadcast times and be sure to visit bunnyranch.com too. HAPPY HOLIDAYS FOR STEVE SEIDMAN
Hof is quoted as saying, "Happy holidays! Hope you enjoy the gift!" Like the poem says, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight..."
Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- Tuesday, December 23
Appearing on Howard Stern’s radio show, media ringmaster Dennis Hof had a few surprises for Howard, not the least of which was showing up with Isabella Soprano and Layla Jade, a 10-years-youger version of the now-departed Princess of Porn. According to Hof, Jade did "an outrageous job" on the show. The question now is whether Jade will be doing more media in the future. Could she be the next XXX star to appear on Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, CNN and Fox News? Could she be the next publisher of Cheri Magazine? Stay tuned. Be sure to catch the debut of HBO’s Cathouse 2: Back In the Saddle, which will air this coming Saturday on the cable network at 10:30. And don't forget to check out these websites: bunnyranch.com and laylajade.com.
Lake is part of the review for Jack Sheehan's book about the sex industry in Las Vegas. Titled Skin City, Sheehan's book has not been released yet. However, Lake, currently under contract with Las Vegas Novelties, was a "cooperative" interview for Sheehan and gave him an insider's access to last year's Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Award Show. Just when you think there's nothing that will surprsie you in this business...
On Friday, a federal judge sentenced Michael J. Corbett to 18 months in prison, a $30,000 fine and three years and three years of supervised release. Corbett's ex-wife, Sharon Bates, to 13 months in prison, a $10,000 fine and three years probabtion. The couple pleaded guilty to one count each of mailing obscene material. Corbett and Bates ran a website that sold defecation and urination videos and DVDs. The site's name? Girlspooping.com. Also sentenced were the site's webmasters, Joseph Tanner and Randall Rogers. Tanner received 13 months in prison and must pay a $20,000 fine. Rogers received three years' probation because of his small role in the crime and because he's confined to a wheelchair. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 22, 2003
Well, as a former LFP employee, I don't know of anyone driven to Xanax by any of the Flynts. However, I interviewed Gauge for the September 2003 issue of Hustler Erotic Video Guide and she had this to say about her own use of the prescription drug: "...the only drugs I do are Valium or Xanax before I do anal or a DP because I have to fucking relax--my ass needs some help...Let me shove something up your ass and you let me know if you need a Valium or a Xanax." Gauge, I need a Valium or a Xanax whenever porn chicks start whining about problems of their own making.
This is the second Jameson billboard to appear in the famous NYC location. Towering over 48th Street and 7th Avenue, the billboard features Jenna wearing only a pair of spike-heeled boots. "This Year Be Naughty and Nice," urges the sign. Well, okay. It couldn't happen to a more swingin' city.
Moorehead will apparently be kept busy by the former gay porn star. Among the scheduled projects will be a young-chick line, an interracial line, a Latin line and an anal line. The fun doesn't stop there, though. Moorehead will also be taking over the North Pole series as well. See what we mean about keeping busy? And you probably thought we meant something with a metrosexual subtext. You just can't jump to those types of conclusions these days.
---------------------------------- DECEMBER 19, 2003
The charges against the self-proclaimed King of Pop include lewd and lascivious acts with a minor child under 14 as well as administering an intoxicant to a minor. Jackson was also given back his passport so that he could take a trip to Great Britain. Britain, incidentally, has an extradition treaty with the United States.
A recent outburst led to Seidman's suspension from KSEX radio and letters of apology to the publisher and staff of AVN. Not learning his learning his lesson, Seidman has now misdirected his anger towards yours truly. Hey, I'm just doing my job as my employer asks. Here's what Seidman had to say to me via e-mail...unedited and unproofed. "Since
you really only know the comments of Dennis and are repeating just Well, Steve, if you're trying to get on my good side, you missed the mark.
That's the band that recently shot a video for the song "The Diary of Jack the Ripper" that starred porn squack Lovette. While the band shot the video in New Jersey, Ordained actually hails from Virginia Beach, Virginia. My mistake. Here's the e-mail: "Mike, My name is Wally Parris and I am the drummer for the heavy metal band Ordained. I appreciate you writing on Adult Stars News about our video we shot with Lovette. We are actually out of Virginia Beach, Virginia but we did shoot the video in New Jersey. Yeah, there were a few videos with rock bands and porn chicks and even VH1 had a few shows called Porn To Rock about porn chicks and rock n roll. We were even scheduled to be on the next Porn To Rock with my good friend Brittany Andrews who we have worked with in the past but the show never developed. But you were very cool on what you wrote about us and Lovette and I just wanted to say thanks. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Thank You, Now, if a certain other person could only be as polite as Wally... Wally, thanks and good luck with the band and the video. May it go into heavy rotation on MTV.
---------------------------------- DECEMBER 18, 2003
A press release from the Banan Entertainment Group advises potential viewers to watch as "Ron Jeremy swings in and breaks down the doors of the fair young maidens." Steve Banan, the site's producer, predicts that www.barnaclebillthesailor.com "will be the biggest non-reality based hit of the coming year." We just wonder what, exactly, is a non-reality based site. Is that, like, fiction or something?
Having had some severe financial setbacks this past year, Goldstein isn't setting his sights low. "I would be willing to work as the president of a company..." he says. Wow. Who says the economy is recovering? SINDEE COXX...HAVING A BABY
Coxx, who used to write, of all things, restaurant reviews for Hustler Erotic Video Guide, expects the baby to arrive sometime next August. We wish her and Barry the best.
Carey, who has been with Kick Ass Pictures since March of 2003, will begin her new deal in March of 2004. Under the contract, Carey will retain ownership of her movies shot for Kick Ass Pictures. Carey's first
project under her new deal will be Run, Mary, Run. It will tell the
tale, in porn fashion, of Carey's run for governor. DECEMBER 17, 2003
Pretty cryptic stuff from Mr. McLean. Just a heading that read The Real Story and a message asking me to call. I did. Clive wasn't home, so I left my number. I haven't gotten a return call, so we'll see. Clive always was a busy man.
According to the report, Amber's case is serious enough that she'll be undergoing surgery the day after Christmas. We wish her the best.
Robert Lombard http://www.creativeimagemgmt.com completes casting on MRG Entertainment's new late night cable series, Sexual Healing which stars multiple AVN nominee and award winner, Chloe. Chloe plays Dr. Rachel Wilson a sexual therapist who performs house calls. The series also stars well-known adult stars in guest lead roles along with mainstream talent. Sexual Healing
will premier on DirecTV, BSkyB and HBO Latin Robert Lombard
would like to thank the adult talent community for their continued
desire to gain additional exposure in late night cable programs and
making themselves available for these projects May your HOLIDAY
season be filled with love and surprises!
Andrews issued a formal announcement through her company, Britco Pictures. "I hope that a group like WIA will someday make it a little bit easier for up-and-comers to survive in this industry." In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "Free at last, free at last..." Well, you know the rest. Michael
Louis Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 16, 2003
If you ask Jenna Jameson, the answer is yes. Word is out that the X-rated star is hoping to host her own network talk show in the near future. Will it
actually happen? Well, who can say? Stranger things have transpired.
Jenna has long had a toehold in Hey, why not? Beats the effort of having to get up and put a DVD into a machine.
The reason given was that of a difference of "ideas," but in light of last week's imbroglio involving Steve Seidman, one half of the S&S Pro Talent Team and Moonlite Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, we suspect there might be more to it than mere creative differences. The timing's just so, well, suspect. As was brought out last Thursday night during their KSEX radio confrontation, Steve Seidman has an arrest record for both drug and sex violations. Commenting on the situation, Hof said of Steve Banan, the other half of S&S Pro Talent, and the one who apparently ended the partnership, "Banan is smart guy! Would you want to be in the porn talent business with Steve Seidman knowing about his admitted arrests and prison record?" In a statement made on last Thursday's KSEX show, Hof said that in his business, anyone with a record like Seidman's was a liability. In a more specific warning, Hof says, "Sunset Thomas and the Kit Kat Ranch either don't know about Steve's record or they are real stupid." Noting that the sex business in general has been sprucing up its image over recent years, Hof commented further on the Seidman situation, "In an industry that is doing a great job to sanitize itself, why would anybody want to associate with a felon like Seidman?"
First, he apparently patched up his differences with AVN, proving that, in this business at least, almost everyone gets a second shot a redemption. That's "almost" everyone, kiddies. Second, last Thursday saw Black shoot his first hard-core scene in at least a year. The scene, shot for new line called Oral Hygiene, will be a comeback of sorts for Extreme Associates which has weathered a series of legal and financial setbacks over the past year. The first installment of Oral Hygiene will hit stores on February 26, 2003, with new episodes to be released every six months. Oh, and in case you didn't pick it up from the title, Oral Hygiene is a blowjob line. Duh.
Besides, cocaine was old school. It was something skeevy holdovers from the '80s were into. That and maybe some black tar heroin. There were new substances on the scene anyway like Ecstasy, Special K and that old standby, crystal meth. However, it looks like cocaine is making a comeback. So much so that a recent post on adultFYI.com notes that porn star karaoke has become something of a "target for pushers." Well, dealers don't show where they can't sell, do they? We just wonder if the new cocaine craze will be as schizophrenic as the last one. You know, where it's socially acceptable to do rail after rail, but freebasing or using the needle (the two most efficient ways to ingest the drug) are strictly frowned upon. And after
the cocaine jitters take hold good and proper, can a smack craze be
far behind? Mercy, you kids just don't know the fun you're in for.
Better book a spot at your local methadone clinic now. Every party
has to come to end sooner or later. Michael
Louis Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 15, 2003
First came an embarrassing appearance on KSEX radio Thursday night during which Seidman was to have revealed "all the dirt" about the Sunset Thomas split from the world famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel. A confrontation by brothel owner Dennis Hof caused Seidman to come down with a sudden case of amnesia. Next came some disparaging off-air comments about AVN in general and AVN reporter Scott Ross in particular which led to Seidman receiving a suspension from KSEX radio and being ordered to write letters of apology to AVN's publisher and staff. Now comes word that Seidman's no longer connected with S&S Pro Talent Management, the agency he was running with Steve Banan. In an e-mail press release, Steve Banan writes that due to "different opinions and ideas," he is ending his association with Seidman and and starting Banan Pro Talent Management. Like we said, it's been a tough week for Steve Seidman.
Wane has been been an active presence on the Internet, with a few sites available for her fans. MoBooty.com, TaylorWanePeepCams.com and SexCamCentral.com are three others she mainains in addition to TaylorWane.com. Click on over for a good time.
Stormy was the only porn performer to make the list. Congratulations, Stormy. You have truly arrived. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 12, 2003
The move to place Thomas in the position of Publisher came about primarily because of her connection to Dennis Hof and the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel, an organization well-known for being able to generate headline grabbing media attention. According to Kimmel, it was Hof's media savvy that prompted him to promote Thomas as a figurehead. "I knew Dennis had the wherewithal for publicity." Unfortunately, as time wore on, company executives grew disenchanted with Ms. Thomas. "She wasn't our favorite model," were Kimmel's final words on the dumping of Sunset Thomas from the masthead of Cheri Magazine.
On Wednesday the company announced the signing of Italian performer/director Denis Marti to a three-year contract to handle a new line called The ProfessiAnals. According to Jimmy Flynt II, the company's National Marketing Director, the series will use a mix of established performers and new faces when it comes to female talent...like audiences are going to be looking at their faces. Look for the series soon.
The product, Vivid Virility - For Her, contains a blend of all-natural herbs that are designed to enhance a woman's libido and strengthen her orgasms. The product also has the benefit of being endorsed by many of the Vivid Girls...so you just know it has to be good. If you're interested, check it the entire line of Vivid Virility products at www.paradisemarketing.com or simply call 1-800-993-3664.
Evolution Erotica, as you might know, is Tom Byron's baby, and he'll be there with female talent Felecia Fox, Jessica Darlin, Selena Silver, Vicky Vette and others. They'll be on hand to sign the new Evolution Erotica/BushDVD.com calendar that will be handed out as a promotional item to all who visit the booth. The Expo, for those of you who don't already know, will be held at the Sands Expo Center in Las Vegas, January 7-11, 2004. Tom Byron and co. will be at booth #3057. Stop by and say hello. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 11, 2003
That doesn't mean that Digital Playground, Tera's former contractual home, won't be making a buck off Tera's name. Digital Playground will apparently continue to market the company's exclusive "Tera Patrick Virtual Sex" line of novelties with California Exotic Novelties as well as continue to operate the TeraPatrick.com. website. Both deals will apparently last for at least the next three years. As for Tera's new home at Vivid, rumors hint that Patrick's first project for the company will be directed by Chi Chi LaRue and will co-star Patrick's husband Evan Seinfeld as her onscreen partner.
Be sure to check out the site, and look for the releases as they become available.
A drive has been organized to help Tony get back on his feet, clothes, furniture and household items being most needed. Monetary donations will also be accepted of course. If you'd like to help, or just add your sympathies, you can contact the Wildlife offices at (818) 576-0576 or send an e-mail to Brinaldi2@aol.com. Hey, it's the time of year when you're supposed to give. Why not do it for someone who could use it?
What could be a better way to pass a Tuesday evening than to watch an anorexic-looking slut and her sidekick, a pudgy little junkie work in a fast-food joint? Fox's "The Simple Life" has all the cheap-jack production values of a low-rent porn video, and it's two stars have about the same appeal as most any brain-dead contract whore on today's market. Said it before, and I'll say it again: It's a dumb show, but you've got to love it. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 10, 2003
That from Jennicam star, Jennifer Ringley who became something of a celebrity after setting up the webcams and allowing subscribers to view her activities 24/7 for a $15 annual fee. Her innovation spawned countless imitators...and even gained her a mention on TV's "King of the Hill." It is speculated that the reason Ringley is shutting down the site could be that the online payment service PayPal may have closed her account because of the company's policy that prohibits "the sale of items for mature audiences." Well, things change, don't they?
Anyway, in her own words, and with her own unique spelling, here's what Britni had to say in part: "There are a great many people out there with deep seeded sexual hang-ups. When these people are faced with women they find sexually threatening, they react poorly at best. In my nearly 3 years in adult movies, I have received HUNDREDS of very explicit death/rape/injury threats. They come in dam [sic] near daily. I have been attacked in a restaurant for being 'BisexualBritni' and a scum bag who is destroying the world. I have been accosted at parties for daring to say to 'no thanks' to having sex. After all, 'Bisexual Britni' always says yes, right? I have had my car vandalized by people scratching religious icons into the paint and words such as whore and slut..." Yikes. It sure is tough being Britni. We will spare her a thought in our prayers tonight.
Okay. Guess we can all go home now. Show's over. Nothing to see here. That clears it all up. Or does it? Guess we'll have to wait and see. That's what happens when you're dopey enough to willfully hang out with underage boys after there's been a previous scandal. Somebody slap Jackson and wake him up, okay? Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 9, 2003
The video will be available just in time for Christmas with a release date of December 17, 2003. According to the press release, Fox is quoted as saying of her tussle with four black men, "I just want to prove to my fans that I can do some really exciting scenes!" The video will be available at most retailers and can also be found at ww.climax9.com. No comment from the Reverend Al Sharpton.
The Appaloosa is where Ginger began her dance career over twenty years ago. The evening will be a gala event and will not only mark Ginger's last feature dance performance, but will include a roast by industry insiders. Ginger will be scouting local talent to star in the second installment of her video series "Ginger Picks." The Appaloosa Show Bar is located at 5975 Terminal Avenue in Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80915. The show begins at 8:00 Mountain Standard Time. If you're in the area, stop by.
Hey, haven't metal bands ran this whole putting porn chicks in their videos thing into the ground? Guess not. At least not in New Jersey which is where Ordained calls home. Music journalist Brian Smith wrote a very perceptive article for Phoenix New Times about the porn/rock connection several years ago. I thought it was a dead issue. I guess I was wrong. Good luck to Lovette. Good luck to Ordained. Good luck to Mr. Ripper. Rock on. Rock on.
Apparently the good doctor has either caught a whiff of an impending bust or someone has been cutting his cocaine stash with on Bon-Ami. In any case, he's apparently flipped out and seems to regret speaking about his medical "practice." Well, too bad. The news is out. More to come as it becomes available. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 8, 2003
In an interview with Yellow Dog, Amis gets a little dismissive of his former hosts through the world of adult entertainment. He comments about the subject: "I get the feeling that pornography is sort of sex instruction now for the young. It’s not some dumpy old biology teacher. Habits, routines, that for my generation just weren't on the menu now are, because they have got one eye on pornography. If our children's sexuality is being formed by some medallion-in-the-chest-hair artist at Wicked Pictures, that is not an unimportant part of the question." So just who is the "medallion-in-the-chest-hair artist at Wicked Pictures" to which Amis refers? Good question. I've known those folks for years, and nobody over at that company has such a retro fashion sense.
"These fun, sexy billboards direct Canadian customers to a special landing page on adameve.com (adameve.ca) for a free DVD offer and introduction to Adam & Eve. "The two specially-designed billboards appeal to different demographics in a fun, humorous way. The first billboard features four young adults in a fully clothed, athletic setting. The second one showcases an older couple jumping on the bed. Both billboards are headed with the 'Put A Party In Your Pants!' caption. "Adam & Eve anticipates some controversy will follow the installation of the billboards. But then again, Adam & Eve has built its reputation on controversy. Since 1970, this adult entertainment mecca has catered to the sex-positive shopping demands of over 4 million customers. "Adam & Eve is now pleased to provide Canadian customers with the same quality, discretion and service that American adults have enjoyed for over 30 years. "For more information, please contact Katy Zvolerin at katy@adameve.com or 919-644-8100 ext. 3121." O! Canada, indeed.
On Friday came word that the company let go Director of Special Projects Vince Crisp...who also was Hustler Erotic Video Guide's Art Director for a number of years. Too bad. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a couple of folks who have so far survived the purge have described a sort of siege mentality on the editorial floor. One going so far as to describe the place as a "snake pit." Ouch. Another has likened the job to being placed in "a half-assed porn version of 'Macbeth.'" Wow. It wasn't always like that. Not a good time of year to be fretting about the future. I wish them the best. Michael Louis
Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 5, 2003
Tera's husband, Mr. Tera Patrick, also known as Evan Seinfeld, the bass player from the band Biohazard, elaborated on the recent turn of events: "Tera's no longer in any of her former contracts after a long, hard ordeal. We have only good news to report. Everyone's fine; everything's fine, happy and dandy. We've settled our things amicably." And the entire world stopped spinning on its axis. Seinfeld also announced that he and his wife were forming their own video company, to be called Tera Vision. Said Mr. Patrick, "We are being distributed by Vivid and Tera's now, officially, a Vivid girl." Wow. Double wow.
Las Vegas Novelties owner and President Serenity comments: 'We are absolutely thrilled to have Sean join our family. He is so well respected and really understands what we are trying to do here. I look forward to his input with his line.'" Uh, we did NOT make up that "look forward to his input" line, by the way. She really said that. Take that to mean what you will. Personally, we doubt the double entendre escaped Serenity when she made her statement...but we caught it.
Also told to me was the story of a company meeting in which Big Boss Man Larry Flynt described James as a "basket case." Ouch. That's gotta hurt. James had a good run, and can point to many successes at LFP. He was a controversial figure, that's for sure, and almost single-handedly transformed the editorial floor into a half-assed porn version of "Macbeth." At least that's how I remember the last few years at LFP where reptilian office politics often got in the way of day-to-day mechanics. But then again, that's just my perception of things.
You might want to check out the latest issue of the National Enquirer. The one with the screaming headline about Michael Jackson's Las Vegas "boy parties." You will laugh. You will cry. You will tremble in fear. Mostly you will recoil in horror. The story alleges that Michael "partied" in Vegas with a host of adolescent boys...all the while dolled up in full geisha makeup. Decadent? This guy makes the 1972 version of Keith Richards seem like a choirboy (although it should be noted that Keith liked adult women). To add to the freak-show appeal, the tabloid runs photos of Jackson in a full white face mask that would give Charles Manson nightmares. As for the alleged molestation victim, the tabloid reports that after the Martin Bashir documentary aired earlier this year, the kid was taunted by schoolmates with slurs like "fagboy" and "gayboy." Gee, maybe holding hands and admitting he slept in the same bed with Jackson on national television wasn't such a good move in his junior high social scene. Just a thought. Michael
Louis Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 4, 2003
Believing this to be a plausible defense, Kelly has now elaborated on that scenario, applying it to his Cook County case according to a motion filed this week. While questioning whether his video co-star is actually a minor, Kelly states that he mount what's being called a "computer morphing" defense. Huh? Seems that R. Kelly believes that "conspirators" digitally placed him in the damning video...or, maybe, replaced his legal partner with a computer-generated minor girl.
Now he's put up his Manhattan townhouse for sale. Boo freaking hoo. You got $29 million? That's the asking price. The Gooch paid $650,000 for it in 1975, but maybe that 29 mil is negotiable. You won't know until you ask. So what will you get for your money? A 17,000-square-foot limestone house right near Central Park, that's what. The place has 30 rooms and 11 fireplaces...just in case you get chilly. And if all that fire is too much, you can always cool off in the fancy indoor swimming pool. You may want to do some redecorating with the pool though. It comes with an anatomically-correct male nude statue. An odd choice for the publisher of Penthouse. Seems sort of gay to us.
I did catch Bette Midler on "Larry King Live" when I was channel surfing and killing time before going out to hunt for rattlesnakes. Here's what Bette had to say about porn: "...I mean, I can remember it was only a few years ago where people who were in porn were, you know, considered really fringe people. And now they're working so hard to move it into the mainstream. And I think it's a conspiracy, myself." This from a woman who started her career working the gay bath-house circuit. Bette, you need to check yourself. That, or just shut the fuck up.
The story I'm getting, but haven't yet gotten confirmed, is that James was fired for shoving photographer Michael Biscoe on company property. As told to me, James also uttered the classic line, "Do you know who I am? I am James Baes!" as he delivered the shove. Stated in the LFP employee handbook is a clear rule to not lay hands on other employees. It's grounds for termination. Again, this is just what I heard from a very reliable insider source. I still need to get some confirmation on the story. Also heard: the company's leader called a big meeting to say how sorry he was to have to let James go, but... If I can get anyone to open up and tell me the whole story (which sounds pretty intriguing, and contains some elements of slapstick and high drama), you'll be in the loop. Michael
Louis Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER 3, 2003
Sounds freaky? The good doctor would agree. "I think it's a horribly bad idea. But these girls are going to have it done anyway. I might as well be the one who gets paid." Dr. Praha's fees are outrageously high and his methods do not always seem medically sound to the layman. Not always able to secure the glowing material necessary for the procedure from the usual sources like jellyfish and sea anemones, Praha has been known to substitute the sickly green matter that fills "glo-sticks," those ubiquitous party favors seen at raves and techno concerts. "Actually, a lot of patients ask for that material," he claims. "The color is more intense, although it doesn't last as long." Praha claims to have experimented with fiber-optics and other high-tech electronic implants, but says he likes the idea of the organic materials. "Bioluminescence will be the wave of the future in cosmetic ornamentation. The young girls who are doing it now are pioneers in a brave new world. I wish they would wait until all the studies are completed, but you know, nobody likes to wait these days. It's all about instant gratification. While I can't recommend the procedure for every girl, I will say that, if it's done right, it does look very, very sexy." It should also be mentioned that the procedure is also very, very illegal.
But with the debut of Fox's "The Simple Life," I'm getting all switched around on Paris Hilton. Yeah. I'll never meet her, so none of what I think really matters anyway, and, yeah, she still represents pretty much everything I abhor, but when a girl is confused enough by a Wal-Mart to have to ask if the store sells "wall stuff," well, how can anyone not totally dig a chick that dense and out of touch? Now if she'd only get some toxic, glow-in-the dark fish injections, she'd be just about perfect.
However, the once popular Washington, D.C., Internet escort did not from apparent foul play as was initially suspected. Found dead of head trauma, the 42-year-old Summer Breeze, whose real name was Teresa Howell, reportedly earned up to $300 per hour and it was initially thought that she may have been murdered. However, it is now believed that Howell is likely to have fallen in a drunken stupor and fatally injured herself. We just want to know one thing. Who pays $300 an hour for a 42-year-old, reportedly alcoholic hooker? Must be a D.C. thing.
Hardcore Climax #3 is next title from the all-double penetration line from Sineplex Entertainment. The video was shot entirely in Europe and features some of the continents next big stars. Hardcore Climax #3 is filled with some of the most extreme action ever shot. Watch as our studs go from A2A, A2P, A2M, and A2OGM. Every girl in this video are guaranteed never seen before and will never be seen in a production for any other video company. Also every girl in the video is 100% natural. "These are some of the strongest titles in the series. Les Perversion #2 has some of the hottest girls porn has to offer. Hardcore Climax #3 has girls with some of the biggest natural boobs porn has seen in a long time. These titles should be in everyone's wish list this holiday season." Said Sineplex Spokesman Owen Pierce. Les Perversion #2 and Hardcore Climax #3 will be available on VHS and DVD format in all retail stores December 3rd. The VOD will be available at www.sineplex.com, starting Wednesdays at midnight. Trailers for both can be found at www.sineplex.com For sales please contact Dean Sussman: (866) 487-9925 or dean@sineplex.com Michael
Louis Albo ---------------------------------- DECEMBER
1, 2003 Michael
Louis Albo --------------------------------- |
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