NEW FROM ZERO TOLERANCE
Who DOESN'T like fishnets? From Zero Tolerance...
Fishnets
Directed By: Greg Alves and Quasarman
Also Starring: Sandra De Marco, Patricie Max, David Perry, Jane Darling, Dillon, Stacy Silver, Wein Lewis, Thalia, Lucy Love, Jennifer, Lucy Lee, Robert Rosenberg, Joe Monti, Mick Blue
Description: Gone fishin'! Nothing turns a sweet girl into a slutty sexpot faster than a pair of fishnets. And nothing satisfies your hardcore hunger for hosiery like the girls in this DVD. There's something about that diamond-patterned glimpse of skin, those pretty toes curled over in passion, those shapely calves covered in gorgeous net stockings that makes our nuts wanna explode! If you're captivated by the curvature of long luscious legs sliding in and out of tightly wrapped micro-nets, then call in sick today... You're going fishin'!
ALL VHS AND DVD'S INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED IN SPECIAL FISHNET STOCKING***
12.07.04 @ 02:14 PM CST [link]
NEED A CONTRACEPTIVE? TRY BEAVER TESTICLE OR CROCODILE DUNG
Wow. Fortunately science has made great strides in the field of birth control. Still, we miss the days of the Coca-Cola douche. From ClickOnDetroit.com...
Contraception Museum Features More Than 650 Exhibits
CLEVELAND -- What do crocodile dung and beaver-testicle tea have in common? They both were used as contraceptives.
More than 650 items are in the collection at the History of Contraception Museum.
That bit of trivia can be learned at the History of Contraception Museum at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. More than 650 items are in the collection at the one-of-a-kind museum.
Visitors will find rows of cervical caps, while condoms are on display near the douches.
Percy Skuy, 72, a retired Canadian pharmacist, spent nearly 40 years assembling the museum. The items were largely donated by medical professionals and family planning services, or are recreations of historical contraceptive devices.
"These artifacts really tell an important sociological story of human motivation to want to limit family size over hundreds and thousands of years in different cultures and in different countries," Skuy said.
He emphasized the creativity of people through history, who used materials readily available for folk contraceptive remedies.
"Some were useless, some harmful and some could probably have shown a reasonable degree of effectiveness," Skuy said.
James Edmonson, the school's chief curator, said there can be an initial "giggle factor" when visiting the birth control museum. But he said there's a serious side to the collection. He noted that the quest for birth control transcends religions and cultures.
Edmonson believes the permanent exhibit will be popular among students, researchers and the public. A museum setting, he said, is ideal for exploring sensitive topics.
12.07.04 @ 08:09 AM CST [link]
LESBIAN TEACHER AND STUDENT SCANDAL
Trust us. This story is a lot hotter if you don't know what the teacher looks like. From the Associated Press...
Police say teacher 'wed' 14-year-old girl in pagan ritual
Associated Press
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SOUTH HAVEN -- A teacher and a 14-year-old former female student whom she is accused of sexually assaulting participated in witchcraft together and even "wed" in a pagan ritual, police said.
Elizabeth Miklosovic, 36, a teacher at South Haven's Baseline Middle School, was arraigned Thursday on a charge of first-degree criminal sexual conduct in Van Buren County.
If convicted, Miklosovic faces a maximum sentence of life in prison. She was ordered held on $100,000 bond and remained in the county jail Friday.
Also Thursday, the Kent County prosecutor's office issued arrest warrants for Miklosovic on charges of first- and second-degree criminal sexual conduct that accuse her of performing illegal sex acts with the student at the teacher's Grand Rapids home.
Miklosovic lives with another woman and their adopted son, authorities said.
The student told a classmate about the relationship and the classmate told school officials, who placed the seventh-grade language arts teacher on leave from her job. Miklosovic has worked for South Haven Public Schools for three years.
John Weiss, principal of the middle school, said he was surprised to learn about the charges. School administrators and counselors met with students and other teachers throughout the day Thursday.
"There have been a wide variety of reactions," he told The Herald-Palladium of St. Joseph. "There are 550 students and 550 reactions, it seems."
The student told Michigan State Police that she and Miklosovic had about five sexual encounters from June to October in the teacher's home, a park in Van Buren County and a state park in Manistee County.
Although the girl was in Miklosovic's class in the past, the sexual contact did not occur until this year, authorities said.
Miklosovic has no previous criminal record in Michigan, state police records show.
She declined to answer reporters' questions after her arraignment.
James Becker has been appointed as Miklosovic's attorney. Contacted Friday at his Paw Paw law office, Becker declined to comment about the case, saying he had not yet seen the police report.
The girl's family said Miklosovic brainwashed the girl into thinking the two did nothing wrong. A relative told The Grand Rapids Press that the family initially believed Miklosovic's interest in the girl -- who was described as vulnerable and as having emotional problems -- was to help her.
Detective Sgt. Diane Oppenheim of the state police post in South Haven said the student came to trust the teacher so much, she agreed to "marry" the woman in a pagan ritual.
"They also participated in witchcraft together," Oppenheim said.
Miklosovic's preliminary examination on the Van Buren County charge is scheduled for Dec. 13.
12.07.04 @ 07:56 AM CST [link]
PARIS HILTON: OH, THE SHAME OF IT ALL
We came across this item on the E! Channel's website. Our advice? Paris just needs to try a litle harder in any upcoming X-rated tapes. Being an heiress is cool, but it's not enough. From E! Online...
Pity the Poor Party Girl: The Star is telling us Paris Hilton recently crashed a Hollywood producer's bash to try to schmooze a future role--nothing new there. But this time, she discovered she was already the star attraction. Hilton found party guests gathered around a big-screen TV watching her XXX-rated One Night in Paris sex video and slamming her performance. Needless to say, she jammed right out of there. Chin up, Paris. Bad reviews are part of the biz, girl--they're probably all just jealous. We'd like to see them do better. No, seriously, send us the tapes. Seriously!
12.07.04 @ 07:37 AM CST [link]
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE: SALMA HAYAK'S BOOBIES
Somehow, we doubt that Mandinkan tribespeople use words like "chest globes" and "funbags" and "flesh mounds," but that doesn't necessarily take away from the hilarity of this story. From the World Weekly News, those brilliant folks who brought us Batboy...
AFRICAN TRIBE WORSHIPS SALMA HAYEK'S BREASTS!
By Mark Miller
The Mandinka tribe of Gambia, Africa, adheres to a religious practice completely unique to its people -- they worship actress Salma Hayek's breasts!
While most primitive societies tend to pray to animal or ancestral spirits, or to stars and planets as the Mandinkans once did, that all changed in 1995.
Mandinkan farmer Danjuma Kianga remembers, through an interpreter, the moment it happened.
"As a special treat, Chief Tuamanguluka arranged for a movie to be shown here for the first time ever. The movie was Desperado, starring the blessed Salma Hayek as Carolina, a beautiful woman who works for the local drug lord."
When Hayek first appeared on screen, the Mandinkans were blown away by the sight of the 36C-25-37 actress. "Everyone gasped -- men, women, and children," recalls Kianga. "Salma was breathtakingly exquisite. She gave off a force, a light, an energy that came right through the screen and entered our very souls."
After that screening, all any of the Mandinkans could talk about was Salma Hayek -- her looks, her spirit, her energy.
In the years since, the tribe has arranged screenings of every one of her films including, From Dusk 'Til Dawn, Fools Rush In, Dogma, Wild Wild West, Traffic, Spy Kids: 3D, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and, especially, Frida, which was nominated for six Oscars including best actress for Hayek.
The Mandinkans found themselves especially affected by the sight of Hayek's breasts, which are often on full display in her movies.
"Salma's chest globes are magnificent forces of nature," gushes Kianga. "They are large and firm and perfectly formed. Whenever they appear on screen, it is almost as though they are calling to us: 'We're here. We're here for you. Take power from us. Let us be your energy force. Close your eyes and let us engulf you.' "
Around their necks, the Mandinkans wear stone and wood amulets fashioned as miniature replicas of Hayek's awe-inspiring milk wagons. Before undertaking any strenuous or dangerous task, going on any hunting expedition or praying for anything, they lick Hayek's breasts one hundred times for luck.
One of the villages has even constructed a giant 37-foot high scale replica of Hayek's sweater puppets. The breasts themselves are formed of rare black obsidian stone, and the nipples are solid gold.
Villagers form a large circle around the statue, hold hands, and dance themselves into a frenzy while chanting the following:
Oh glorious funbags of Salma, Fertilize our fields, protect us, and bring us luck.
Especially we ask for sexual potency from the
Life-changing, awe-inspiring twin peaks of Salma.
Suckle us with your magical orbs,
Squeeze our faces between those luscious flesh mounds, Our strength, hope and joy derive from the wondrous bazongas of Hayek!
Gahiji Ngozi, a 22-year-old craftsman, speaks for the entire Mandinkan tribe when he says, "Worshipping Salma Hayek's breasts has added meaning, direction and wonder to my life."
12.07.04 @ 07:22 AM CST [link]
